Dermot Ryan

So, what is it that Nase_2K and DJ Ess want to do more than anything else in the world? Answers like 'Be Rally Champions' and 'Jennifer Aniston' may well jump into your head, and they wouldn't be far wrong. But well done to the twelve-year-old girl in London who just thought 'Own Nightclubs'. There is very little else in the whole wide world that they would like do to more than own their own nightclub (except, maybe, to win the World Rally Championship, come back to the UK, bed Jennifer Aniston in one of their nightclubs in a string of highly successful nightclubs and then go on to have Judge Jules warm the crowd for their set later on…). So, are Nase_2K and DJ Ess jealous when they write about a nightclub owner? You bet they bloody well are.
Dermot Ryan runs Miss Moneypenny's club in Birmingham along with three others. Oh, look, DJ Ess is dribbling.

DJ Ess: Ok, so, how did you get onto the club scene?
Dermot: I was at Manchester Uni. When the Hacienda was kicking in during the mid-Eighties, it seemed different and more exciting than other clubs. When I came back to Birmingham my brothers had brought a men's fashion shop. On top of that we started putting on a soul-based underground network for about 200 people and built up a little following. When the dance thing started in 1988 we did events in clubs like Venus in Nottingham. When Venus we down the pan, we started Miss Moneypenny's. As the scene grew, we grew.
DJ Ess: What's the best idea you've ever had (Notebook out, Nase_2K - DJ Ess)?
Dermot : Calling the club Miss Moneypenny's. (That's us buggered - Nase_2K) The James Bond thing is very glamorous and stylish, which hopefully reflect what we're about. When we launched our album, the current Miss Moneypenny turned up.
DJ Ess: What makes your club stand out from others?
Dermot : Loads of production and dancers so people think they're going to an event. And we've resisted the temptation to go up to 300 people because you can't keep it so special.
DJ Ess : Are there any other ways of attracting people to the club?
Dermot : You have to make sure your name is known. We stood in the general election at Tatton. We got 332 votes. We put up this guy; The Transformer, who is, in his own words, a 12' surreal freak - he wears massive platform heels. Neil Hamilton (then the MP) could handle it but Martin Bell (the next MP) couldn't, so The Transformer harassed him horribly. Even The Bangkok News had a full page on us.
DJ Ess : Your strict door policy has come in for some stick…
Dermot : People who look wicked are welcomed with opened arms, but you've got to keep out the dealers and the trouble-makers. We want people to feel happy and secure.
DJ Ess : What's the wildest night you've ever hosted?
Dermot : We hired this fetish act call the Pervomimes. The guy appeared on stilts leading three topless ladies who were harnessed like ponies. People were a bit shocked at first.
DJ Ess : Is it the sort of work you'll get too old for?
Dermot : Possibly. I suppose you can't pretend to be an icon of glamour and fashion when you're 55 years old with a beer belly. Hopefully we'll have established something legendary in social circles by then.
DJ Ess : Thank you very much.
Dermot : No problem.